Brian Bollen's Blog

It's The Rules That Do It

I took part in my first competition at Elder Gate Toastmasters before I had even made my debut speech. It was at the club's annual Humorous Speech competition in September 2004, held at The Cock Hotel in Stony Stratford

I’m not entirely sure I should be doing this. A humorous speech in front of 26 people when I haven’t even finished writing my ice-breaker. But then my wife, Margaret, will tell you I’ve never been one for doing things the right way round.

I used to believe rigidly in rules. Then I went to University where I was forced to study new, alien subjects. A little bit of moral philosophy is a dangerous thing. It teaches you to think rather than follow blindly.

That might explain why I jumped at the chance to take part when Danny said someone had dropped out.

BUCKSKINANNY!!

I made my debut speech at Elder Gate Toastmasters in Milton Keynes in October 2004. Although it is written as a speech, to be performed rather than read, I hope you enjoy reading it

BUCKSKINANNY!!!!!!!!!!!!

That was my first word. Not Mum. Not Dad. And certainly not Mamma or Dadda. Anyone saying Mamma or Dadda round our way wouldn’t have lasted long. Infants were not exempt from the general law of the jungle.

BUCKSKINANNY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Said just like that. It came from the name of a family who lived opposite us in Airdrie. Their name was Buckson, and even by the standards of a post-industrial town built on coal and iron and steel they were a bit below the salt. The corruption of their name had become a howl of derision.

I was about three before I spoke. At one point everyone thought I must be retarded. That boy’s no right, you could hear them say at Mum’s sewing classes. Or in the Italian café in town. I’m telling you, he’s no right. Never says a word.

International Speech Contest

Underlining the strength in depth of speaking skills in the area, the North Bucks Speakers heat of this year's International Speech Contest attracted five high calibre entries from (in order of speaking) John Schell, Anthony Crow, Brian Bollen, Leon Welsh and Jason Johns. The honours in a close run competition went to Jason Johns for his thoughtful motivational address entitled: “Is It Really Possible?”

John Schell was runner-up.

Brian Bollen, to his clear astonishment, won the Speech Evaluation contest, despite the sterling efforts of Peter Giesinger, Dave Minzey and Leon Welsh to evaluate a speech prepared at very short notice by Margaret Bollen. “They say you should never evaluate a speech by your wife, or partner, but Toastmasters is all about stepping beyond and therefore extending your comfort zone, and this was a prime example of that,” said Brian.